The hardest thing I have ever done
I’m going to bear my soul for a moment. I just finished “chatting” with my wife via instant messenger, and the pain of being apart from her is really starting to hit me.
This deployment is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
It’s not being here that is so hard. I have endured far worse conditions during my military career. It is being away from my family that makes this so tough. There is so much I miss that if I ponder it for to long it really starts to get to me.
I miss my oldest son, Alex and his incredible wit and sense of humor. I miss being amazed by his level of intelligence and maturity. I only wish that I had been as level-headed as he is when I was his age.
I miss my fourteen-year old daughter, Jessica, and the way she gives me a hug every single morning and puts her head on my chest…as if to remind me that no matter how big she gets she will always be my little girl.
I miss my thirteen-year old daughter, Jennifer who has a smile as big as the sun and laughter that is contagious. I miss the joy I feel when I see her taking the time to play with her little brothers for hours at a time. She has something special inside of her that she does not even realize.
I miss my five-year old son, Seth and his incredible grasp of the world around him at such a young age. I miss listening to him carefully enunciate every syllable as he speaks, and the mind-boggling statements he makes that are well beyond his years.
I miss my two-year old son, Luke and the way he runs to me with arms wide open when I walk through the door. I miss hearing him say to me, “lets wessle daddy”, and his incessant giggling as we “wessle”.
I miss my beautiful wife, Amy who is my best friend in the entire world. I miss looking into her beautiful eyes and holding her close to me. I miss the feeling I have when I am with her and the fact that I am still infatuated with her after fifteen years of marriage. I miss her laughter and her impenetrable optimism that keeps my suspicious pragmatism in check. I miss going to the grocery store with her just so I have an excuse to hang out with her. I miss feeling her next to me when I go to sleep at night.
I miss home.
This deployment is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
It’s not being here that is so hard. I have endured far worse conditions during my military career. It is being away from my family that makes this so tough. There is so much I miss that if I ponder it for to long it really starts to get to me.
I miss my oldest son, Alex and his incredible wit and sense of humor. I miss being amazed by his level of intelligence and maturity. I only wish that I had been as level-headed as he is when I was his age.
I miss my fourteen-year old daughter, Jessica, and the way she gives me a hug every single morning and puts her head on my chest…as if to remind me that no matter how big she gets she will always be my little girl.
I miss my thirteen-year old daughter, Jennifer who has a smile as big as the sun and laughter that is contagious. I miss the joy I feel when I see her taking the time to play with her little brothers for hours at a time. She has something special inside of her that she does not even realize.
I miss my five-year old son, Seth and his incredible grasp of the world around him at such a young age. I miss listening to him carefully enunciate every syllable as he speaks, and the mind-boggling statements he makes that are well beyond his years.
I miss my two-year old son, Luke and the way he runs to me with arms wide open when I walk through the door. I miss hearing him say to me, “lets wessle daddy”, and his incessant giggling as we “wessle”.
I miss my beautiful wife, Amy who is my best friend in the entire world. I miss looking into her beautiful eyes and holding her close to me. I miss the feeling I have when I am with her and the fact that I am still infatuated with her after fifteen years of marriage. I miss her laughter and her impenetrable optimism that keeps my suspicious pragmatism in check. I miss going to the grocery store with her just so I have an excuse to hang out with her. I miss feeling her next to me when I go to sleep at night.
I miss home.
posted by John at 8:21 PM
2 Comments:
very powerful brother, hang in there, its a long road but in the end what you come home to will be worth it
justus
JOHN,OH TO BE ABLE TO ADEQUATELY TRANSMIT MY HEART VIA BLOG MESSAGE
John, oh to be able to transmit my heart felt feelings via "blog message" Hoping you will pick up on them when I say "that ride down the Elwin blacktop that one night made me realize without a doubt God's will and the priceless jewel He was going to add to our
quiver." We are inspired every time we come to your blog. We are humbled at the void you must feel as we enjoy the protection of our borders and comfort of so much taken for granted. We are indebted to you and your men for the sacrifice of more than we can even comprehend. You are out of sight but constantly on our minds and always lifted in constant prayer. Love, Ps.91
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